Two Minority Chicks and Some White Girl

Thursday, December 21, 2006

You Are Not Carrie Bradshaw


"Oh My God! That is SO ME!" Ever since syndication, the cry is ubiquitous. No longer the sole property of HBO, anyone with basic cable or even an antenna can pick up all six seasons of "Sex and the City" in glorious technicolor. Whether you live on the Island of Manhattan or in the trailers of Honkey-Tonk Heaven, you can choose to be a Carrie or Miranda, a Charlotte or Samantha. Perhaps the ladies feel such affinity for these characters because unlike Jill Munroe, Kelly Garrett and Sabrina Duncan, the fabulous four are somewhat accessible. They are not poster-girl gorgeous, they do not pack heat.

But the similarities do end there. The chances of writing a sex column for The New York Star equal one's chances of working for Charlie Townsend. And while no one is beating down the doors of their local police academy, suddenly, women making $40,000.00 a year are buying $500.00 shoes. They layer jeans under miniskirts under leotards under tube tops under short wrap shirts over Manolo Blahniks, and they down enough martinis to fell a longshoreman. But because they are not Carrie, they whine that they look "fat" in their bag lady couture. They complain that their girlfriends are too "busy" with their "jobs" and their "lives" to listen to the same story about the same guy who dumped them the same way at the same day time and place.

So here is the truth ladies. You are not Carrie Bradshaw. The only way you could afford her apartment on 72nd and Lex is if you are Sarah Jessica Parker. The only way you could write a column for a New York daily is if you had the talent, connections and sheer luck of Candace Bushnell. To that end, kindly stop abusing your friends just because they will not listen to you complain about how empty your life is. If you have a roof over your head, and family and friends that support rather than enable you, you are light years ahead of Carrie. For the "real" Ms. Bradshaw would be nothing more than a ghetto crackwhore, and Mr. Big, nothing more than her small-time pimp.

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